If you watched this video already, then you know the story of what I tolerated between the sheets in my first marriage. It wasn’t just a resigned acceptance of what I was given by him, but a tolerance of what I expected of myself, how I showed up, what I gave, what I received without ever questioning…any of it.
Ok, so…I doubt you had my exact experience, but I don’t doubt you can relate to the acceptance of “this is how it is” when it comes to sex. Whether that means not expected to climax, taking a submissive role even if secretly you’re more dominant, or accepting and tolerating pain.
Just because we’ve all done it doesn’t make it ok. Or good. Or right.
Something we have that our mothers, grandmothers and the women before them didn’t have is options. We have options to leave relationships, buy a vibrator with our own money or credit card, and get the support we need to stop tolerating or experiencing pain.
Most often pain with penetration is linked to over functioning, highly tense, hypertonic muscles. In other words, muscles that have turned on and can’t turn off.
You and I both know that healthy muscles can both contract AND release. So even though someone once told you kegels were the answer to painful sex (or anything pelvic floor related) they will only “Feed the beast” as I like to say.
To truly address and eradicate this issue, you need to learn how to stretch, release, relax, and turn off these muscles.
Or as my family therapist told me “Try underfunctioning for a little while and see what happens.”
Emily Sauer, the founder of OhNut, is this week’s podcast guest and we talk about the deeper, wider impact of painful penetration. Because the OhNut allows you to relax, knowing that you are safe, you can start to explore the possibility of pleasure between the sheets. Whether with a partner or flying solo.
LISTEN TO THE PODCAST EPISODE HERE
Emily has graciously shared a discount code ALISSA7 which you can use at www.ohnut.co for $7 off!
I’ve been recommending OhNut to clients for YEARS to much success. And pairing this tool with learning how to both release and efficiently engage the muscles of your pelvic floor will open up a world of pleasure and options that generations before us never knew existed.
You have choices. You get to choose what you tolerate and what you won’t tolerate. You have access to tools and education to bring more pleasure into your life in the bedroom, on the mat, and in your whole life! How amazing is that?!?!
This is where I come in because I can teach you everything you need to know about the muscles!
If you want to learn more about what I do and why I do it visit www.alissaalter.com or email me at alissa@alissa-alter.com I love hearing from you :)
As always, I’ve got your back. I’ve got your front. And I’ve got your undercarriage.
Xo, Alissa