Before we dive in, we moved! We did it! The Jersey natives are back in the motherland! I started sharing my feelings about moving in last week’s post for paid subscribers which you can check out here. If you haven’t utilized your 7-day free trial, go ahead! There’s more where that came from later this week 🙂
Also, this email is coming a little later than usual because we didn’t have internet all weekend! That’s right, no internet. We survived a move with NO screen time for a toddler because we also have crappy cell service in the house. It’s fine. I’m FINE! Also more on this later this week 🙃
Things don’t always go according to plan, right?
“The grilled octopus is really good.”
“Oooh, let’s get that.”
“I’m going to get a glass of wine, do you want anything?”
“I can’t drink right now.”
I looked at my friend and she shared with me through glassy eyes that the reproductive endocrinologist didn’t have any answers to why she wasn’t able to conceive, but that IVF was going to be the best route to starting a family.
Together, through tears, we shared that pain that life doesn’t always go as planned.
She shared what this meant for her and her husband, how appointments and cycles and dates were now the center of everything. We talked about how we were supposed to be getting pregnant together and how her future lay in the hands of science and mine Bumble. This wasn’t supposed to be our story.
I probably had three glasses of wine (before going back to my own apartment and drinking more) as I had recently filed for divorce and was drinking my way through this very realization. That I was now living a story that wasn’t supposed to be my story. In fact, I’d recently returned home from a trip to Florida to visit my snowbird parents and admitted that my reason for fighting to stay was “I don’t want to be a divorcee.” By the time I flew home I’d stopped fighting.
Because the truth is the truth whether or not we like it. I wrote more about that here and here if this strikes a chord in you.
For today, I’m talking more about how we make plans and G-d laughs. Because life, G-d, the universe, your neighbor dgaf what your plan is or whether you want something to be true, real, or happening. Life unfolds as it does.
I spent a lot of time living in this space as I prepared to say goodbye to my beloved Walter Alter in August, and it’s top of mind again now as I start a partnership with KindBody to support people through family planning and fertility. KindBody is an incredible company looking to reinvent fertility treatments. They are inclusive, progressive, and take a 360 approach to their patient’s experience which is where I come in. I work with KindBody and their patients on mindfulness, embodiment, and cycle safe movement to stay connected to themselves when everything becomes so clinical. I am so excited to get to do this and be a part of such a committed team of practitioners looking to make our experience more human. My hope is to bring levity, understanding, and a judgment free zone to patients also facing life not going according to plan.
After I gave birth to Everett a lot of my grieving revolved around how “this wasn’t supposed to be my story. I was supposed to sneeze and he was supposed to glide out.” My experience giving birth to Everett and my fourth degree tear changed me and my life forever. And a lot of you have kindly, respectfully, considerately reached out asking how I’m feeling about being pregnant and eventually giving birth again. I want to thank you for the compassion in these messages as I felt nothing but supported and cared for. And I recorded my A to your Q on this week’s mini episode of the podcast.
YOU CAN LISTEN TO THE MINI EPISODE HERE!
In this mini episode (~5 mins) I’ll share what I’m available for and why and how I found MY right decision to birth Baby Sadwith #2. I know it may not go according to plan, but this is my plan.
Do you find life always goes according to plan? Never goes according to plan? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Or feel free to reply to this email. I’ll respond during my unpacking breaks.
As always, I’ve got your back. I’ve got your front. And I’ve got your undercarriage.
Xo, Alissa
And if you’re feeling like me, overwhelmed, overstimulated, over it and you haven’t downloaded YOUR Self-Care Menu, you can get it right here! I used mine yesterday and it was a true game changer (also more on this later this week). While there’s a lot going on that we can’t change, we can influence our experience and make it 1% less draining. You’re welcome in advance <3