Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance
A lesson from dad + menopause & my baby are coming...
So this weeks podcast is all about busting myths around menopause. Sharing truths around what we can expect leading up to it, what’s missing in our care, and HOW we can advocate for ourselves and each other.
What I find interesting is that people are hardly looking for info or talking about menopause when we are heading there!!!
Menopause is inevitable unless…well this could get dark. Anyway, we are heading there and the road gets bumpy so why wouldn’t we want as many road signs, maps, gps, off road tires, tools, and tricks to navigate the path??? I want as much info as I can get!
As my dad always taught us, prior planning prevents piss poor performance. Aka The 6 Ps. This wasn’t a one time lesson, this is like the thesis of my upbringing. Every email is still signed “Have fun, be safe, & remember the 6 P’s. Love, Dad.”
I tried to prepare before having E, but given it was my first time there was so much I didn’t know to prepare for. And like I sang about in We Party, no one saw my tear coming. I will share clips soon. I’ve honestly been too tired to edit anything so it’s a slower pace than I would have liked and it’s all good 😊
After performing We Party #thisismotherhood I have more deeply come to terms with the fact that I am actually having another baby. I’m truly 6.5 months pregnant, there is a human being living in my uterus, and I’m slowing down. In other words, it took me about a week to recover from the show. I spent most of my time horizontal in bed, eating, and/or sleeping. And when I wasn’t doing those things I was cranky and complaining to Jeremy about how I couldn’t believe how tired I was and how long it was taking me to recover.
But of course it did!!! I’m growing a human! And breaking cycles! And singing about it! While also parenting a three year old! None of these are small feats on their own and together, they’re a big feat! So I’m modifying things all over the place in order to meet and honor myself every way I can.
After having Everett, and consistently getting some decent stretches of sleep, I started creating everything I wished I’d had earlier. Not just earlier postpartum, but during pregnancy.
The community of judgment free parents who would talk openly about anything and everything.
The resources I wanted to be able to read instead of articles that left me feeling more alone and helpless.
A movement and workout program that would help me get to know my new body in a way that was safe, satisfying, and fun.
And because this time is different, as Sondheim would say, “I know things now,” I’m actually working on some new stuff that’s helping me prepare for #2 because like menopause, it’s happening. It’s coming. Ready or not Baby Boy Sadwith #2 will be here at the end of May!
Because Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance I’m not only using what I’ve already learned, but calling in the support of my community <— this includes you 😉
I’m doing some prep on my own. Things like…
I’m updating MY Self-Care Menu. You can download mine and create your own here.
I’m going through MY Owners Manual* and updating my mission, vision, and goals. I’m checking in with this present version of me who is different from past me and will transform into future me. I want as much info on and for myself as possible that I can share with Jeremy, my family, friends, providers, etc. If you don’t know what the owners manual is, I did a podcast episode about it here when it was part of my group program MOVE last summer. And it’s now available a la carte! Get started with Your OWNer’s Manual* here!
*This is an interactive pdf you download and fill out! It is created to guide you through creating an owner’s manual for yourself to help guide future you through the sticky stuff with the wisdom you already have. Use code AYL63 for $10 off!
I’m doing Pilates For My Privates because even though I’m going to have a c-section my undercarriage needs love too.
And I’m leaning on our incredible community in Mom’s Club. Our private Facebook group which if you’re a mom who doesn’t believe in TMI looking for a judgement free zone filled with incredible, like minded moms, we’d love to have you!
I recently posted the following:
c section mamas!
What are the top things you wish you knew/want me to know about recovering.
I'm planning a c section for this birth because of my birth trauma and prioritizing both my physical and mental health. And while I know things about c section recovery, I have ZERO LIVED EXPERIENCE of it.
All insights welcome. Good, bad, ugly, all of it!
And was met with:
Request music, confirm with that staff that the conversation in the OR will be focused ONLY on your baby’s birth (you’d be surprised at the mundane shit ppl will chat about), and discuss all of the available options like a clear drape etc.
Yes to music in OR. I wasn’t able to breastfeed immediately after because I needed extra anxiety meds during procedure and I wish I’d know that was going to be the case—so if you want to BF, just be aware of that when making meds plans for the operation with anesthesiology!
There's a period of time between birth of baby and end of surgery that felt very lonely. Husband is off with the baby, you're being put back together, and you're kind of alone and out of the action. During my son's surprise C-section, I spent that time thinking "What just happened?!" If I were to do it again, I would try to connect with my baby energetically and send loving, healing, joyful vibes his way.
CONGRATULATIONS on making an informed and empowered choice!!!!!!!!!
And, because so many of you have reached out and asked, next week I’m sharing more about how I prepared to get pregnant again after birth trauma and PTSD and why I’m so excited about all of it. Betcha didn’t think you’d see excited, trauma, and ptsd in the same sentence, right? I like to keep it fresh around here.
So until next time have fun, be safe, and remember the 6 P’s.
Love, Alissa