TICKETS STILL AVAILABLE in person or virtually for WE PARTY #thisismotherhood THIS THURSDAY! 7pm! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
I love cults. Do you know this about me?
There is something about cult psychology and HOW people get wrapped up in cults fascinates me. I have a few theories on why I’m drawn to them which have a lot to do with growing up in a pretty…um…controlled environment.
Did you know I was a Mary Kay consultant? I even earned a car! But I took the $ instead which made my director VERY angry with me and I did get yelled at about it). I joined Mary Kay in the last years of my first marriage when I was desperate to make extra money. My ex husband was miserable in his job and it was clear that he was trapped because of my musical theater and pilates career. The problem was that I didn’t have a stable income which would afford him the ability to change careers. SO when I went to a friend’s Mary Kay party and was handed the DVD all about the amazing opportunity I was being given, I was primed to say yes.
My director used the fact that my marriage was rocky and that if I just pushed my goals and customers and teams a little more, I’d make enough money to free my husband and we’d live happily ever after. What started with really good intentions (and I did make some good money when I was getting started) became ugly, mean, and quite frankly coo coo bananas.
ANYWAY, despite the experience (or because of it?) I love cults.
I’ve even been watching The Vow on HBO about NXIVM and feel giddy that this all happened so close to Saratoga Springs, NY where I went to college. I feel NXIVM adjacent which makes the scandal feel that much more exhilarating. Also, digisting and infuriating and fuels a deep fiery rage inside me to protect women.
And I want to know everything.
If you want to have a conversation about NXIVM I’m so in, but this email is less about this particular cult and more about culty things. Things where a group standardizes behavior and expectations that are…off. Behavior that benefits one person or one group in power and actively disempowers the masses. Behavior that is almost beyond achievability but close to enough to keep people motivated to go to great measures to make it real.
Behavior that sounds a lot like motherhood.
Just me?
I mean, I KNOW that if I simply had a sequin Nap Dress, my entire life and motherhood experience would be better. Do you have one? Isn’t your life better?
We have all internalized expectations and mannerisms that fit within the outline of what it looks like to a “good mother.” We make the baby food, pack the lunches, don’t ask for help, buy the products, to show the world we are doing it! And we are doing it right!
Motherhood is pretty fucking culty if you ask me.
And the thing with cults is they always start with really great intentions! This is how people get involved! So it’s not ALL bad, it’s just…a lot of bad, ya know?
So, since I already love cults and now I’m in the cult of motherhood I knew I HAD to have Sara Petersen, author of Momfluenced (available for pre-order now) on the podcast. She talks about what a momfluencer is, the power of social media, how social media can impact PPD & PPA, and most importantly what we can do to protect ourselves from being fully indoctrinated and instead use what’s good about the cult and leave the rest behind.
Oh! And check out her amazing bog on substack
I cannot wait to hear what you think!As always, I’ve got your back. I’ve got your front. And I’ve got your undercarriage.
Xo, Alissa
TICKETS STILL AVAILABLE in person or virtually for WE PARTY #thisismotherhood THIS THURSDAY! 7pm! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Yay! Can’t wait to listen!!! ❤️