Today is my birthday! And it’s the first night of Passover, my favorite holiday! Yep, two things you may not have known about me 1) I’m Jewish and 2) Passover is my favorite holiday! I think its for a combo of reasons including, but not limited to…
Matzah ball soup
A lot of tradition and ritual
I’m the youngest so I had a solo for the Four Questions and I love the attention
Getting the whole fam jam together
Matzah with whipped cream cheese is delicious
I’m also an Aries Sun, Gemini Moon, Cancer Rising and I am accepting gifts for my birthday in the form of compliments, talking to someone about where your vagina is pointing, making a donation to reproductive rights/justice organizations and/or gun control organizations, and also just like…gifts. I like soft things.
ANWAY!
A few years ago I started hosting Passover for my family as my mom lost both interest and energy to do it. Besides the fact that there are like a million components to the Sedar and the meal,I really enjoy hosting and this year it even gave Jeremy and I a reason to actually go ahead and buy a dining room table. Hooray!
But we’re not here to talk about Passover! We are here to talk about MY BIRTHDAY! I know. AND these two holidays will always be connected for me. While I’m happy that there are more options for cakes and desserts that are kosher for passover now (as a child I had some HORRIBLE cakes as my mom desperately tried to find a decent option) but also this holiday is all about freedom.
The first year that I hosted Passover was right after I filed for divorce. And my brother in law pointed out that “Hey Alissa! This must have a whole new depth of meaning for you this year.” And hotdamn was he right. That was now eight years ago. Eight years of living in freedom where I get to make my own decisions – unless of course it comes to reproductive or sexual health! This is the United States after all!
I won’t get too political because it’s my birthday and I’m spending the day either horizontal or cooking. Two of my favorite things.
Instead, I put together a list of 39 things I’ve learned. Not in any order or from any specific time frame, but 39 things I’ve learned about life and myself. You don’t have to like them or agree, but it was actually a very cool exercise because I felt like I ran out of things at one point and then more came. Maybe you want to try it! Maybe you don’t! I support you either way!
Before I share the list and sign off for the day I do want to say something to you.
Thank you.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading my work and supporting me by showing up. I spent many years feeling like I was screaming into a void and I don’t feel that way anymore. Not here. Thank you for seeing and hearing me and for sharing your time with me. I know how valuable it is.
Xo, Alissa
39 Things I’ve Learned Over 39 Years
G-d put eyes on the front of your head for a reason
Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance
You cannot make someone else change
The only way out is through
Discomfort is essential for growth
Change is literally my name
I have everything I need already
There is nothing I cannot do, except a side switch leap.
Love is not ALL you need
While it’s much easier to blame someone else (your parents, partner, boss, whatever) at some point you have to own the hand you were dealt and do something about it
Pain is our call to action
I know what my strengths and more importantly I know my weaknesses
Crying doesn’t make me weak
It is never too late to start over again
Tap dancing makes everyone happy
No one can read my mind. Annoying, but true
I am not responsible for anyone else’s feelings. I am responsible for holding a safe space for my own and my loved one’s feelings
If I don’t take care of myself, no one else will
I am safe
Secrets secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone
I do not exist to please others
Asking for help is really awesome. Not only do I get the help I need, I create an opportunity for someone to actively love me
Pay more attention to actions. Your own and other people’s. They are louder than words
I am really fun
I’m a great wife/partner
I am a good friend
I am a phenomenal mom
I am not too much
There is no ONE right way to do anything. There is only YOUR right way
I am strong AF
Having boundaries IS showing love
Even though I can’t really eat dairy and have shit my pants more than an adult should (mostly BEFORE my tear), I can always trust my gut
I deserve my dreams
I make other people uncomfortable sometimes and that doesn’t mean I need to stop being me. It means I need to find more of the people who delight in my unfiltered way of living
There is no dream to big or too small
People are made of magic
Sometimes everything sucks
There are no rules. We are all making this up as we go along. So might as well have fun and add in a pivot step, drop down shimmy, ball change!
I am exactly where I need to be
Happy Birthday Alissa! I love your list and sounds like something I’d like to try, although I feel I may struggle to come up with 52 things! xx
Happy birthday!!