Before we get into it, I’m teaching a workshop at Montclair Baby
Saturday, April 29th 12:30-1:45pm WHY Your Pelvic Floor Needs Love! If you are pregnant or newly postpartum and in the area, I promise you don’t want to miss this.
There is SO MUCH about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum (which is forever but also DEF 2 years after birth) you can’t know until you know or be prepared for, but this is something you CAN prepare for. And I believe you deserve to know WTF is going on in your body! So join me!
Can’t make the workshop, but want to learn more? Reply to this and we will get you set up!
Question: how often are you shoulding on yourself?
If you’re a woman, mother, primary caretaker to someone else, my guess is that your answer is often. Maybe all the time? Maybe you don’t know there’s a parallel universe where this doesn’t happen?
In episode 73 of Myth of Motherhood we talk to Your Joyologist Tricia Huffman author of F The Shoulds, Do The Wants about the power of should and the simple reframe that will change everything. I’m not saying that for dramatic effect (although it’s working, right?) One shift can and will set you free.
I am always intentional about who I invite onto the show and why I choose them. Your time, attention, and brain space are important to me and so I want to support you every way I can. Which includes curating interesting, mind opening, inspiring, fun conversations and topics to…alter your life and destigmatize the female body and experience.
AND over the next few months I added a layer of consideration, admittedly selfishly motivated, to support my transition into motherhood 2.0 I connected with people I previously would have been nervous to approach, felt inferior to or intimidated by, and had some hard conversations that need to happen (like episode 71 with Dana Black. Hello most vulnerable conversation ever except maybe when I told Jeremy I had been married before and figured he wouldn’t want to date me anymore).
I have a confession…
I’ve been shoulding ALL over myself. It’s been messy, sticky, embarrassing, and filled me with shame.
I should…
Enjoy every moment of this pregnancy which will be my last
Be making more money to contribute more to my family financially before otherwise I am a worthless drain on our resources
Create more content
Build more courses
Have more subscribers/listeners/followers
Secure brand partnerships and be an influencer
HUSTLE
When in reality…
Pregnancy is really hard and I don’t feel good a lot of the time
I’m making less money than ever and it will probs stay that way for a while
I’m creating plenty of effing content WHILE creating a new person
I have enough courses
I’m all about quality over quantity
I don’t want to be an influencer!!!!!!!!
I want to be horizontal
I’m having one of the moments where I need to become my own client. All of these shoulds make sense given the transition I’m in and the culture around me.
AND I get to make the rules around here. Which is why I am updating MY Owners Manual (you can join me! More info at the bottom of this email) so I can confidently and continently F The Shoulds and Do The Wants like Tricia taught me.
I’m now working on focusing on what I want to do. Those shouldn’t have transformed into could and now I get to CHOOSE my next steps. <— these word choices are important and we will be diving into this next week!
What I want to do…
Be horizontal
Connect with the community in Mom’s Club which is our private Facebook community that does not believe in TMI and is a 100% judgment free zone. Highly recommend you join if you’re not a regular mom, but a cool mom ;)
Cook meals to freeze for when the baby comes.
Pull out clothes for when I’m not pregnant anymore.
Stretch! This body is feeling TIGHT!
Nap! ← Horizontal
Eat Oreos
Exist in this quiet before the storm
And the biggest one of all…
Spend time with Jeremy and Everett!!! I love these guys! I’m obsessed with them! And I WANT to make big deposits into my relationship capital with both of them. Because I have a feeling I’m going to be making a LOT of withdrawals soon enough.
I have made the executive decision to take the shoulds, look at them as coulds, and choose what I want. My “maternity leave” starts now. What does that mean? I don’t really know yet! (Clients reading this, don’t panic! We will chat about this and it doesn’t mean I’m done with you yet!)
What I DO know is that I’m not going to allow the hustle and shoulds make this decision for me.
I am going to spend more time horizontal. My vertical time will be used for cooking food to freeze in our new basement freezer – suburban dreams do come true! I’ll watch Bravo. And I’ll keep you posted on how this evolves.
As promised, if you’re looking to figure out where your shoulds end and wants begin, or how to intentionally and responsibly invest YOUR relationship capital, then join me in creating or updating YOUR Owners Manual.
Save the date Friday, 5/5 at 12pm est for a zoom hang to come together, share insights, and obviously dance.
This is one thing I know I will be doing between now and baby because it’s too important not to!!! We got this.
Xo, Alissa