Picture this…
A Mom and Toddler are playing together on the living room floor when Dad walks in. Mom acknowledges Dad, Toddler acknowledges Mom acknowledging Dad. Mom and Toddler return to play, Dad does whatever the f*ck he wants.
Now picture this…
A Dad and Toddler playing together on the living room floor when Mom walks in. Dad acknowledges Mom, Toddler sees Mom starts screaming, runs over, and pulls Mom to play with Toddler. Dad is free to do whatever the f*ck he wants.
Sound familiar? Because it sure does to me!
It’s not that Everett doesn’t love Jeremy. It’s not that Jeremy isn’t a present and active Dad. It’s not anything outside of the fact that I’m Mom. I am the center of the universe of this family. I am the sun here. And each family member is a planet orbiting around me and relating to a gravitational pull toward me. And if they get too far away they will all die.
That’s how solar systems work, right?
In space, like outer space, two or more objects orbiting each other also have a center of mass. It is the point around which the objects orbit. This point is the barycenter of the objects and is the shared center of mass of these two objects. The barycenter is usually closest to the object with the most mass.
So the center of mass is the balance point of an object. Think of the planking trend. People balance their body in a straight line on random objects. Depending on their height, ratio of leg to torso length, whether they are top or bottom heavy if ya know what I’m saying…
Or maybe a better example is my late French bulldog walter alter. He is purebred, don’t at me I know things now that I hadn’t known before…any he is so top heavy that when he eats from a bowl that is actually ON the floor, his hindlegs float up off the floor. Because his balance point is closer to his head that his butt due to his barrel chest and clunky clunky block head. He’s a lot like a hammer. Heavier at one end than the other.
Ok, so we get it, the balance point, the center of mass of something or someone isn’t always at the measured middle.
The barycenter is a SHARED center of mass between two objects.
So like, Jeremy and I can stay balanced further apart because we are each fully(ish) realized and expressed humans. That’s why I married him. This isn’t true in every relationship you have, I know this, you know this, now we both know that we both know this.
The balance point between Everett and I is much different than between me and Jeremy.
Everett is a less realized, expressed human. He is developing. So he orbits much closer to me. Our barycenter is still attached to me because our masses are not balanced, sort of because they aren’t that distinct yet, right? We are still SO much a part of each other. Which I can feel anytime our bodies are close together. How my hugs can calm a tantrum and regulate his nervous system consistently and reliably.
And as Jeremy and Everett orbit around me, the sun, all of our barycenters shift depending on where we are in orbit in relation to all of us.
And we’ve found our orbits and have had a nice rhythm going which is about to undergo a major retrograde? Cazimi? [Insert other astrological term]? Astrology is different from Astronomy and an expert in neither. Anyway, in the words of Ke$sha, it’s about to go down and I’m yelling TIMBER!
Soon there will be another planet on top of my planet with demands and needs and smells and sounds and it’s going to be intense. This week’s podcast episode is one I’m really proud of and originally published over at Alter Your Life. It was too good not to bring over here with us and is all about What Astrophysics and Parenthood Have In Common. Hint: It’s barycenters. And I wanted this reminder myself and to share it with you because it’s really good.
I’m also going to meet you back here tomorrow because I’m sharing another way we can prepare together for the [insert astrological or astronomical(?) term here] that’s heading our way.
Thank you for being here, reading, and as always…
I’ve got your back.
I’ve got your front.
And I’ve got your undercarriage.
Xo, Alissa