Funny story:
So I got really lucky that my OBGYN who I love also moved from Brooklyn to NJ and I’m her patient once again. AND she recently had a little baby of her own (congrats Jill!) so I’m getting to meet the doctor’s in the practice, which is lovely and also really comforting in case this little baby tries to come before Jill is back in action.
This is part of how I’m taking care of myself and protecting my wellbeing. Getting to know the other providers in case they end up delivering me for some reason. I think with my previous anxiety and PTSD having some familiarity with the person cutting me open will be reassuring.
Anyway! I was at the doctor last week for a routine appt and got to meet a lovely…wait for it…MALE OBGYN. Not that there aren’t tons of male OBGYN’s, but this guy was wonderful. His bedside manner was incredible. He spoke to me, listened, and asked if I wanted to talk about the pros/cons of a repeat vaginal birth vs cesarean for my case. He asked for my consent first…
THEN! I was telling him about why I’m choosing a c-section this time (this podcast episode dives into it if you’re curious). I was talking about my full recovery from the tear, how I’m fully continent & confident™, and how my very mild rectocele hasn’t been an issue except noticing it during the second trimester.
“Are you an OB?” He asked me.
“Nope!” I replied confidently because as you know, I’m a board certified D.o.N. Doctor of Nothing!
“Really?! I’ve never had a patient use the work rectocele before!”
Ok. Number one, I’m extraordinarily flattered. Number two, I’m the only patient he’s had who knew she had a rectocele, knew the term for it, and used it in an appointment when discussing symptoms and decisions about her health.
Because I know WTF I’m talking about when it comes to my body. I’m the ONLY patient who has said this. YOU TOO CAN BE MISTAKEN FOR A VAGINA SURGEON! I mean it!
Now again I’m blushing. I’m so flattered. I've impressed this man who is a candidate to cut me open and take my baby out, put me back together again, and probably watch me vomit. AND the fire is once again lit under my ass. No, it’s not hemorrhoids…yet. It’s the holy rage and burning desire fueling my mission to normalize the conversations about our bodies and experiences.
When things scare me or make me anxious I lean in HARD and learn everything I can about it. Have you noticed that about me? This is why I know a lot of things and talk about everything. Because I don’t like ambiguity so I make things explicit. Which is literally WHY I created Pilates For Your Privates and…literally everything else I create and teach and do!
And now it’s time to put these things into action. Because I don’t know if you know this, but I’m about to have another baby. My whole life is going to explode again. I’m going to change and be changed and not be sleeping. And I’m going to need support to stay centered, grounded, moored in the wild shit storm. And I’m going to invite you to join me in preparing. More details coming later this week. If you want to know early, just reply to this email, or comment on this post and I’ll reach out with the details.
As always, I’ve got your back. I’ve got your front. And I’ve got your undercarriage.
Xo, Alissa