That’s my in the burgundy pants all the way on the right!
The other day I was talking to my phone, I mean posting stories on Instagram, and I told a story about a client I taught years ago. This woman, let’s call her Nancy (not her real name) had a session with me which was to be her second ever Pilates session in her 65+ years of living. She came in hot.
“My doctor told me to do Pilates to help the pain in my hip from bursitis and last time I came here I left in MORE pain. The only reason I’m here today is because my doctor insisted this would help, but I do NOT want to get hurt again and that other teacher hurt me.”
I needed to hear more from Nancy. Because 1) the teacher she had worked with is outrageously knowledgeable and while not dissing Nancy’s pain, I know this teacher didn’t hurt her and 2) I needed to know more about what happened and why so I could effectively teach the human being in front of me.
Because yea! I know what to do to help address bursitis and move past it, but if Nancy didn’t feel safe with me or trust that I would listen to her, we weren’t going to get anywhere.
I asked questions, Nancy answered and as we spoke she began to soften. I won’t give you the play by play because…it’s boring…but it turned out the pain Nancy experienced after her session wasn’t the result of getting hurt or injured.
Nancy experienced soreness in her muscles for the first time.
See, Nancy wasn’t someone who had been active in her 65+ years of living outside of daily life activities. She’d never physically worked her body in ways that pushed her limits and left her feeling sore after. This was all brand new to her.
You know I know that challenging our bodies in new ways or increasing weight, reps, distance, etc leaves us sore. And we know that the discomfort dissipates in a few days. You and I know the difference between when we are uncomfortable because we are creating change and growth and when we’ve gone too far and are in pain.
Nancy didn’t know this. And she didn’t know me, yet.
So as we worked I explained everything we did, why we were doing it, what sensations to expect, and got her feedback. I also explained DOMS - Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness and the role this plays in building strength (I’m also working on a podcast episode about DOMS and how it shows up physically and emotionally…duh). I told her what she may expect the following day or so and that my intention was to limit that, but she may feel it as it’s a natural response to exercise.
Yada yada yada nancy realized she hadn’t been hurt by the previous teacher, but was sore. She was way less afraid of Pilates and movement. Nancy also became a long standing client of mine who progressed beautifully and hip pain became a thing of the past! Huzza!h!
I had forgotten about this start to my relationship with Nancy until last week. What made me think of this was that the Pilates class I taught last week was HARD! I was pretty sore for a few days after! As I was teaching I thought to myself, “Why am I doing this? I’m the one who decides the moves? Why am I doing this to us?!”
AND the answer is that to make progress, to create change, to grow strength you gotta get uncomfortable.
When I think of the things in my life I’m deeply grateful for or love so much they were hard to do and I was sore afterwards! I needed rest, water, food, Bravo, Bachelor Nation, Nora Ephron movies, and sometimes medicine to get through so I could do it all again!
I fought tooth and nail for my dreams. And while it sucked hard going through it all, I’m so glad I chose to get uncomfortable and do some extraordinarily hard things over and over again! Because…what if I hadn’t? What if I were still married to my ex husband? What if I stayed in musical theater? What if I never started Pilates For Your Privates? What if I never met Jeremy? What if I never got to meet and mother Everett and Cameron? What if…
Growth IS uncomfortable. If you stay in your comfort zone, you’re not growing. You’re staying. AND YOU GET TO CHOOSE! Sorry not sorry to yell that truth bomb at you, but I love you so I will always be honest with you. It’s my thing.
IT IS YOUR CHOICE if you are growing or staying. IT IS YOUR CHOICE if you move through the discomfort, take care of it, get back up, and do it over and over again.
So I invite you to join in me in reflecting on the past year and the ways in which you’ve grown and where maybe you need to get a little uncomfortable moving forward. Today is Yom Kippur after all so reflecting on this is trés á propos. And if you feel like sharing, reply to this email! You know I love hearing from you.
As always, I’ve got your back. I’ve got your front. And I’ve got our undercarriage.
Xo, Alissa
Ps. A new episode of the podcast came out last week called Lessons From My Dad & The Tramp. I’d love for you to listen and if you like what you hear please rate, leave a review, and share the episode!